1. You attract everything that happens to you. I can’t tell you how often clients ask me what they’re doing wrong to “attract” negative or less-than-perfect situations to their lives. This kind of thinking can lead to feelings of guilt, self-punishment, judgment, anxiety, fear and narcissism. An egotistical way to view life, which will lead to misery, is to make it all about you. When things aren’t going as you hope, instead of asking “what am I doing wrong?” ask, “what am I being asked to learn from this situation?” This places you in a true position of power and stops the victimization cycle. Life is filled with challenges. No matter how good and loving you strive to be, you’re not going to be immune to challenges. It’s a compliment. God knows you can handle challenges. God sends you people and situations who could benefit from your wisdom and healing, and people and situations that could help you heal and evolve your soul. When we’re in a receptive state to learn, we will be open to asking how we could help in a challenge or what we could learn from our hardships. De-personalize the details, and recognize the blessings. Gratitude lifts you to a higher state of being and thinking, which can help you get through challenges easier.
The law of attraction isn’t a magical thing and it’s not a simplistic theory. It’s a law of energy or physics. “Like attracts like” meaning what vibrates at similar rates (including one’s destiny) may be brought together through the time space continuum like how magnets feel that draw to connect. But what if something that doesn’t appear to be vibrating at your rate is sent your way? Does it mean you’ve dropped the ball and have done something wrong? Or is it part of your calling to teach, heal or learn from what’s sent your way? What if just because something doesn’t feel good or appear to make sense, it’s still vibrating at your rate because it’s connecting to a part of you that can teach or heal or that needs to learn or be healed? Consider the law of attraction like this: we are brought together with people and situations for a divine purpose. It’s not just about what your ego wants, it’s about the ripple effect of life and your soul’s purpose in this world. Sometimes our brain will interpret these interactions as wonderful, like when we’re brought together with people who are just like us. Other times our brain will interpret a situation as awful because it’s not making us happy. Either way, take a step back and learn from the situation. You’re being called to a higher purpose with it.
A helpful prayer to heal from any negative associations with the law of attraction is the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
2. Your vision board is a magical universal shopping cart for your every desire. It’s my experience that vision boards are best used as a divine inspiration for your soul’s purpose and passion. Just because you place a photo of a supermodel on your vision board doesn’t mean you’ll ever look like or marry one. If you go deeper into your soul and ask yourself what would bring you peace, you may find the images on your vision board change. You may have photos of smiling faces representing happiness. Or strong bodies representing health. Or a yoga pose to inspire your practice. Or an image of water or mountains that you’d like a view of someday from where you live. You may place photos of things you’d like to give, as well as receive. When I was in high school it was about material things or life experiences that I wanted. As I grew up, I added ways I would love to serve others and help this planet. It’s been most fulfilling to experience these service goals coming true – the board serving as inspiration of what’s possible and to help keep me motivated and focused. When my efforts and passion meet with divine timing, the vision on the board becomes my reality.
So don’t lack faith if you never live in that 10-bedroom mansion overlooking the ocean that you placed on your board. Just think about all the taxes and copious amounts of cleaning you’re being spared. Use your board as a focal point to inspire your soul and motivate you to accomplish your goals and continue to dream about what’s possible.
3. If something isn’t perfect, it’s not meant to be. Sometimes things are going to be super easy and feel “meant to be” and other times you may feel like you’re fighting tooth and nail for what you want. Just because something isn’t easy doesn’t mean you should quickly walk away. God ultimately shows us what’s not meant to be, we must trust in that higher wisdom always present in our lives. When you’re headed in the wrong direction, you can often feel it in your heart. Or you end up being strongly re-directed. It’s hard to deny when something isn’t meant to be, you’re usually not given much of a choice. This divine wisdom asks us to eventually accept when life doesn’t go our way. There’s always a reason why something works out and why something doesn’t. We just have to trust. Trust helps the soul feel at peace and helps you hear your intuition clearer. Consider making a commitment to something you feel strongly about and working through it, even when it’s challenging, because it’s those hard times that can build trust and a loving relationship for a lifetime. Or a career that you become really good at, enjoying success from your efforts and helping many people. Avoid the ego trap of striving for and expecting perfection. Practice acceptance for what is, and strive to be the healthiest you. Change what’s in your power and commit to a positive outlook. Life may not be perfect in your perception, but from the higher view, it’s always perfect on that deeper level.
4. A spiritual person doesn’t ever do anything that would upset anyone. Gentle, sensitive souls who are striving to be the most loving, kind and compassionate people may find themselves feeling stepped on in life. It’s the sensitive souls who end up becoming doormats for stronger personalities who mistake their gentleness for weakness. Sensitive people often focus so much on the idea of being viewed as “good” that they behave in ways that are actually bad for them. A friend of mine once said “us sensitive people have a higher tolerance for BS.” It’s true that a deeply compassionate heart is often open to everyone and will tolerate a lot others wouldn’t. We just have to be aware of the fine line between caring for others and caring for ourselves. If your own dignity, self-respect and health suffer as the result of you being a spiritual person, it may be that you’re using compassion as an excuse to avoid healing your self-esteem. Where is the strength of our compassion if we’re lacking it for ourselves? It’s a sure way to burn out.
Consider spiritual street smarts. You can do good and feel good, but you need to be discerning. There are people out there who won’t see your loving heart and just don’t care. They’ll use, abuse, take you for granted and take advantage of your goodness. There are people out there who would prefer you be meek and suppress your own feelings so they could feel in control. There are times you may unintentionally offend someone by sharing your personal belief about something. You can’t be a yes man to everyone without sacrificing your own health and well-being. It’s not healthy to be consistently kind and giving and then start feeling resentful when certain people aren’t kind or giving back to you.
You can shine your light in the world without leaking it out in a way that undermines your strength and power. Even the angels practice tough love. Angels are created of pure love but they’re far from doormats. They just say no to fear and actively clear it with a very strong, very powerful, very focused divine love. It’s not a romantic or friendly love. There is no personal agenda, and there’s none of that sentimental kind of love we humans feel. It’s divine love – something that’s hard to explain in human terms. Divine love feels synonymous with respect for all living things. This love doesn’t fall prey to guilt or rationalizing. This love is clear between the boundary of love and fear. It’s mission is maintaining a strong divine love and practicing zero tolerance for fear.
We can do the same by not being afraid to express ourselves, forgiving ourselves when we act out of fear, and by practicing our loving kindness in a way that feels comfortable to us. When you stop worrying what others will think of you, you will begin to live the kind of spiritual life that feels right for you. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Theresa and other spiritual leaders in our time have served as examples of standing your ground and speaking your truth without allowing the fear of others opinions sway you from your life’s purpose.
5. If you haven’t met your soul mate, you’re doing something wrong. This is another one I’ve heard from clients over the years and it always saddens me because these are kind, smart, beautiful people who feel they’re somehow blocking the love of their life from crossing their path. As an intuitive, I’ll tell you from years of providing hundreds of readings, I’ve seen enough proof to believe that we have little external control over our love destiny. We can’t control when our soul mate will be ready for us, or when that timing will be best for both of us. Does that mean you should sit home in your pajamas every weekend and not bother putting any effort into your dating life? No! You’ve got to put the vibe out there that you’re ready for love. You can do this by joining an online dating site, letting friends and family know you’re looking, being bold and taking risks. The love of your life is out there somewhere and you’re destined to meet.
The universe can use your help. Your psyche was erased of the date you’ll meet, so your love life is now an adventure. You play the game by searching and wondering and pining, and chances are your soul mate is doing the same thing. Then one day, exactly when it’s meant to happen, you’ll meet. It could be online. It could be at a support group or yoga class. It could be in a coffee shop. It could be at the gym, or maybe through a friend. The greatest challenge of love is waiting for it. The wait will challenge your mind with all sorts of depressing thoughts, like you’ll always be alone or you’re doing something wrong. The best thing you could do while waiting is continue to focus on your own personal development and opening your heart so when that destined encounter happens, you’ll be receptive with a grateful heart.
Yoga props are essential to a healing and relaxation practice. Yoga props provide relief to injured soldiers in our therapeutic yoga class at Fort Bragg not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. Props help to relieve physical pain and pressure, allow you to modify poses to your individual need, can hit pressure points, support a calm nervous system and reduction of stress hormones. The props also work deeper, emotionally, to regain trust and calm for the inner self, as well as the outer world. The props allow you to receive unconditional support. Receiving this kind of gentle, yet strong support can be very profound in body, mind and spirit during stressful times or when healing from trauma.
But yoga props aren’t only for times of stress. Using props regularly in your relaxation practice provides on-going support in your daily life. A soldier in my class remarked that he couldn’t comfortably get into a spinal twist without the support of a blanket. I said to him, “who doesn’t need a little support now and then?”
Really, who can’t use a little extra support along with feelings of peace and comfort? Try yoga props for deeper relaxation and healing. It’s a worthwhile investment for your self-care. I love my yoga props and look forward to using them routinely.
This video tells the story of Oh, The Places You’ll Go! Dr. Seuss’ last book is a gift of comfort for life’s ups and downs. It was filmed last year at Burning Man.
I recognized sometime ago the power of affirmations. When we “affirm” a truth, it may be read like a lie when it first enters the mind. Like if you’re stressing about money and say, “I receive everything I need when I need it” your mind may snicker and respond, “wishful thinking.” But as Dr. Emoto learned in his experiment with water, our words are living things. Maya Angelou wrote a poem called, “Words Are Things” in which she said, “I believe that words are things. I think they stick on the walls, they go into the upholstery, they go into your clothes, and finally into your very body.”
Louise Hay’s groundbreaking book, You Can Heal Your Life, explains the power of words and how they can make us sick, or make us well. She’s written tons of books filled with positive affirmations to change your life.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, Doreen Virtue and other spiritual teachers of our time have followed suit, releasing positive affirmations out to the world so that others can reel them in and use them as healthful nutrition for their heart, mind and soul.
I recognized years ago that the power of our words does in fact have an effect on our well-being, and I began to use affirmations to change my life. I’ll go more into that process in another blog. This blog is about the healing effect of affirmations when receiving a massage.
I went to a masseuse in a continued effort to bring relief to a muscle spasm that led to a seized up lower back and found myself gripping the table in pain as she worked hard to release back muscles that had been compressing my spine and nerves. I knew that if I focused on the tension, the muscles would become more tense. So I focused on the breath instead. Then I decided to use affirmations to see if my thoughts could help the stubbornly tight muscles disarm tension.
I started with, “I am willing to release this tension.”
About sixty seconds later the masseuse said, “You just had a release!”
I smiled in the face cradle, thankful for the instant validation. She started to knead deeper into the tension and the discomfort level shot through the roof. I tried the affirmation again but this time it didn’t work. So I tried another.
In my mind, I said, “I am stable.”
She rolled her arm into my back. Ouch! Didn’t work.
I tried,”My body is stable.”
She dug her hands into my back. OUCH! That one didn’t work either.
I silently repeated in my mind, “My life is stable.”
Once again, I writhed in pain, gasped and jumped as she attempted to unlock the muscles.
I kept experimenting, refusing to give up. I tried to detach as much as I could from the pain in my physical body, trusting it in the hands of the masseuse, and repeated the words until I felt they were me, and I was them. I repeated the words until I felt them become my truth, and resonate in my entire body, at it’s highest level. I said the words until they were ringing in every cell of my being. I affirmed, “My world is stable.”
And there it was.
“Wow, you just had another huge release!” the masseuse said.
I could feel the muscles release a lot of tension and my entire body felt more at ease. Though I would need additional massages to fully release all the tension, I had proof once again that my words could support a deeper healing in the bodywork I received.
When I returned to the waiting room after my massage, I heard my masseuse say that she was impressed by the control I had over my breath and my ability to work with her to release the pain. She said a lot of people tense up more which makes it harder for her to help them let go. I told her I gave all the credit to yoga. One of many ways yoga helps me off the mat, and why I am so grateful to the practice. Affirmations are like powerful little prescriptions for the soul that can heal the body.
You could experiment with yoga and affirmations yourself next time you engage in some kind of bodywork, whether it’s massage, energy healing or personal training and see how the power of your breath and words could help you.
Candlelight meditation is a yoga practice that calms and focuses the mind, and awakens the third eye chakra, the energy center that processes your intuition. This peaceful guided meditation uses the aid of candlelight to cleanse, clear, calm and inspire the mind. Use it to increase intuition, clear and open the third eye chakra, receive inspiration and guidance, and simply relax. Also can be helpful to relieve headaches and brain fog.
Lauralyn is a certified yoga and angel therapist and certified Reiki Master. She specializes in holistic healing and spiritual mentoring. She is currently providing yoga to the wounded warriors at Fort Bragg in North Carolina.
When I first moved to this colorless military town from the dreamy city of Santa Monica, I had a hard time adapting. I made a commitment to creating the first therapeutic yoga program here at Fort Bragg, one of the largest military bases in America. So I had to, in Army terms, suck it up.
I was such a fish out of water when I got here, it took some time to plant my Zen roots. But once I did, I was quickly reminded that you can raise the bar of positivity wherever you are. You have the power to make your life Divine wherever you are, whenever you want!
This is something that is easy to forget when you’re feeling low, in transition or someplace you don’t want to be. It’s always easier to think the grass is greener anyplace other than where you’re at. Do you ever find yourself saying if only you had something you’re presently missing, your life would be so much better? Or you’d be able to be more spiritual, disciplined or relaxed, “if only.”
God gives a beautiful challenge when he asks us to see how high we could lift the vibe and embrace the spirit of joy, regardless of outside circumstances. How positive and true to ourselves can we remain in the face of fear, negativity, adversary or apathy? Take your power back by creating a zen home retreat!
Creating A Zen Home Retreat
My intuition was nudging me for quite sometime to do something with the outdoor deck we have attached to our little apartment here. I knew it was a valuable space. It overlooks grass and trees, and gives me an opportunity to rest in the outdoors without having to be concerned about safety (this isn’t the safest neighborhood to spend alone at a park and there are no close local parks anyway). Living with this idea that being here is temporary, I held myself back from investing too much. So I bought a super cheap (and cute) outdoor bistro set thinking that would be good enough.
I tried sitting at the bistro set and relaxing, but the chairs were too upright and I couldn’t get comfortable for long. What I really wanted was a lounge chair to lay back and enjoy the outdoors for hours if I wanted to.
Finally, I broke the spell of self-imposed waiting and charged to the store with list in hand. I bought 3 lush little green plants for $4 each, a small battery operated bamboo water fountain for $5 and the biggest splurge: a super comfy lounger for $30 that had a pillow for the head and elevated the legs above the chest – a restorative yoga pose! I knew lying in this position would rejuvenate me the same as resting my legs on a bolster does.
I created a mini “garden” path with the small green plants and inspirational rocks I already had. I set the bamboo fountain on the bistro table, and arranged the chairs so there was still just enough room to eat outside. I positioned the large angel I had to overlook the bistro and “yogi” lounger, and a large clear crystal from my studio in Orange County sat protectively in the corner. A crystal, inspirational nature rocks, a small fountain, an angel and relaxing lounger transformed the tiny deck into an outdoor retreat. For just under $50, I created a modified zen garden that I now enjoy every morning while the weather is still nice here in the South. Once the temperature drops, I’ll lounge outside with a blanket, enjoying the fresh air with a daily inspirational read and cup of tea or organic hot chocolate.
What can you do with your space to raise the bar of positivity in your home? Do you presently have an area dedicated to peace and relaxation where you can get in your zen zone and recharge? Taking time out to relax and restore is vital for your health, and cannot only reduce present stress, but provide a place of rest and rejuvenation so you can face future challenges with more strength, and find peace of mind and clarity regardless of what’s happening around you. No matter what your space looks like or where you live, there are lots of creative ways to give yourself a retreat at home, and on a budget that you can afford.
