I have been talking to a lot of people lately who are experiencing an inner or outer call to be more expansive than they ever have been.  I am among them!

This is a wacky world that we live in and it demands that we grow to meet the challenges we face or whither into apathy, depression, or listlessness.  We get challenges from the outer world, but really, isn’t it our soul’s truth calling us to stretch into the amazing beings that we are?

Here are some of the ways that we can identify when we need to expand our perspective, our capacity, and our courage:

1. Irritation at others.  Do you feel like all would be great if people simply started acting right?
2. Feeling victimized. This one is tricky, because when asked, everyone will say, “I’m not a victim.” Yet when we feel like the world has us over a barrel or wonder why these things “keep happening to me” we are lost in the subtle trap of victimhood.
3. Feeling out of sync.  Do you feel less like your regular old self and wonder why you aren’t on top of your game?
4. Easily thrown off balance. Are you finding yourself more reactive than usual?  Are you less able to be neutral or compassionate than you would like to be?

If the above are symptoms that you are experiencing, you are not alone.  The above are common requests by our highest selves to expand our bandwidth, not merely to withstand the pressure of the day, but also to thrive in a joyful and blissful existence.

When we expand our capacity to transcend obstacles, that same expansion allows for a deeper sense of being and subsequent happiness.

Your Assignment: Keep up!  Keep breathing and courageously going forward toward your purpose in life.  Boldly lean into the discomfort of expanding your bandwidth to allow for new expressions of courage, faith, trust, and bliss!

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Many recent studies find that too many choices cause depression.*  Many yogic masters have said the same thing through the ages.

One of the problems we face today is that we are overstimulated and overwhelmed by the choices that seem to go hand in hand with personal liberty but undermine one of the most spiritual precepts there are: the power of commitment.

I speak with people all the time who are lost in a sea of uncertainty especially in the realm of relationships.  Upon further examination, I find out that more often than not, they have one or both resist commitment or they try to have some sort of open relationship.

The all-you-can-eat buffet style of living robs us of one of the most profound yet simple principles by which we can live.  When we commit to something, it casts aside all other options, which is loathsome to the core in this culture that sees multiple choice as an expression of freedom and liberty.  By staying with someone or something, through tough times and good, we get to experience the richness of life and true intimacy.

It is called “commitment” not “convenience”

What I have found true in relationships goes for all aspects of life: I need to stop mad attempts at tasting, trying, sampling, doing all that I can fit in to a day.  Once I have narrowed down the few important things in front of me, give them my full attention and do them to the best of my ability.

In other words: slow down, pare down, and keep it simple.  Commit to the pared down expectation and sustain the commitment.

When we do this, we shift from instant gratification to the long term happiness and self-esteem that comes from weathering the storm and finding one’s mettle.  By transcending rather than avoiding life’s difficulties, we establish ourselves and feel our birthright to be happy and secure on this planet.

How strange it would seem that a vast number of choices can undermine one’s security.  It makes sense. With so many options vying for our attention, we begin to second-guess our choices, living in a “grass is greener” loop of dissatisfaction.

Your Assignment:

Simplify your life and reduce your troubles. Make a commitment to yourself and keep that commitment and watch your self-worth grow by leaps and bounds.

*You can read more about the studies at these links:

http://www.science20.com/news_articles/too_many_choices_may_be_unhealthy_psychologists_suggest

http://caktal.blogspot.com/2010/01/too-many-choices-can-cause-obsession.html

http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/08/the-true-cause-of-depression/

http://xfinity.comcast.net/slideshow/news-12causesdepression/9/

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We all have anger.  The problem lies with how we use it.

In India, anger is considered the most valuable emotion.  Over here, it is the among the most dysfunctional!

How can anger be valuable?  Anger is a warning sign. It tells us that we perceive the situation as dangerous.  When we allow ourselves breathing room in our lives, especially in our relationships, we can ease into becoming aware of what that perceived danger is.

Usually it is fear or sadness.  Someone else’s behavior activates a long-ago hurt in us but the booby prize is this: it has nothing to do with the other person.

What gets activated is a belief created long ago (often before we have language skills at all) that can resemble some of the following:

• “I’m not lovable”
• “You will abandon me”
• “I am not enough”

Heartbreaking, right?  And isn’t it easier to wield the phony power of anger than to settle into the above vulnerability?

When we can breath into our anger and ask ourselves, “What does this really mean?  What lies beneath this volatility?” We have a very precious opportunity to heal ancient sadness and fear.

It isn’t easy, but it is evolutionary.  And you deserve it.  In fact, the health of the planet depends on your happiness and wellbeing, so it is your duty to bring that peace to yourself and express it into this world.

Your Assignment:

Practice now, in times of harmony, getting activated by a fake fear. * Imagine that fear and breathe deeply.  Do that three more times and ask yourself, “What is lurking below the surface here?”  By doing this now, you have a much better chance of accessing this experience when the mercury rises next time.

*They are all fake, but they feel quite real.  In this case, you are doing a little roll play or practice.

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Learn more about GLOBAL LOVE DAY here:

http://www.thelovefoundation.com/Global_Love_Day.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_Love_Day

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Relationships are a high contact sport!

When it comes to giving and receiving freely to others, we can get lost trying to find our place between empathy and neutrality.

Empathy, we will describe here, as understanding another person’s situation to the point of vicariously experiencing the thoughts feelings and emotions of that person.

In other words, it is a place of understanding but with some sort of investment—and can include getting tied up in the drama of someone else’s situation.

The neutrality that I speak of is a place of observation with compassion. One can watch the dance without stepping onto the dance floor.

There is a powerful difference between the two. On the one hand, empathy calls for us to engage in and often be affected by drama (generally someone else’s) and begin the process of making their situation “about me.” It can be a little like eating a whole chocolate cake: it feels fun in the moment but the aftereffects are awful!

Neutrality gives us the power to witness, from a protected distance, the suffering of someone else, without projecting our own unfinished business on their experience.

For example, when someone in my proximity (whether a loved one or a coworker) starts yelling or making mischief, I have a few options:

I can try to fix them (about me)
I can try to stop them (about me)
I can look on with compassion and say to myself, “That’s interesting!” and provide a space for them to have an ungraceful moment until they are ready to seek a solution. (about them)
The motives are clear, when we are empathetic; we bring our own investment into the equation. This is sometimes very appropriate. However, if we are to be effective at diffusing situations quickly, the neutral stance is a far more powerful approach.

Neutrality demands breathing room. If we are running on fumes, there is no breathing room and we are of little use to ourselves, much less able to be a healing force for others.

With breathing room, you’ll find it much easier to be in a neutral space and instead of wasting your time and energy cursing situations that can’t be helped.

The idea is to become mindful of your situation and reactions, instead of going with your first reaction in adverse situations.

Your Assignment:

Designate a time of the day when you know you won’t be disturbed, find a quiet peaceful corner in your home, sit or lie down in a comfortable position, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Focus completely on the act of breathing, feel yourself relax. With every in-breath, imagine you are inhaling all the stress and anxiety you have stored within your body and mind as if it were benign smoke. Feel it transmuted into sparkling white light and exhale it out and allow it to spread goodness and kindness.

Practicing this exercise regularly will train your mind to switch to the ‘calm mode’ more easily when you are activated. The moment you take a step back and start deep breathing you have given yourself a chance at neutrality.

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