As many before me have done, I am comparing the teachings of Jesus and Lao Tzu.  I will be posting verses from the Tao Teh Ching and the New Testament of the Bible.  Following the readings will be commentary elucidating the common themes.  This work is personal and subjective.  I am sharing the product of my devotional time with you as an act of love and an invitation to celebrate the Universal Divine.

June 10, 2010

Heaven is everlasting and Earth is perpetual.

Why so? Because they live

without holding onto any consciousness of self.

Therefore, they can endure forever.

One who does not separate his being

from the nature of universal wholeness

lives with the universal virtue of wholeness.

He, too, dissolves all consciousness of self

and lives as the universe.

By putting himself behind others,

he finds himself foremost.

By not considering his own personal ends,

his personal life is accomplished.

He finds himself safe, secure and preserved.

Because he does not hold a narrow concept of self,

his true nature can fully merge

with the one universal life.

-TAO TE CHING, CHAPTER 7.

For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. –II CORINTHIANS 5:1

For thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. –MATTHEW 6:8

But many who are first will be last: and the last, first. –MATTHEW 19:30

But the greatest among you shall be your servant.  And whoever exalts himself shall be humbled: and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted. –MATTHEW 23:11-12

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself. –PHILIPPINANS 2:3

In Chapter Seven of the Tao The Ching we first encounter the theme of the eternal nature of Spirit.  Our bodies die, but we perceive the Universe as everlasting.  This common thread unites diverse traditions.

How can we access the eternal within ourselves?  Where does our identity merge with the Universal identity?  How are we One and how do we access the One? The way to do this according to Lao Tzu is to “live without holding onto any consciousness of self.”  What does this mean?  Put others before yourself.  Seek to attain the quality of humility.  Jesus taught the same principle of selfless service.

In a culture of self-consciousness, we are often at odds with these teachings.   We are preoccupied with our appearance and outward success.  Looking in the mirror, we see only ourselves.

Can we be self-aware without being self-conscious?  If so, is this self-love? Jesus taught, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself—there is no greater commandment.” –MARK 12:31

When our awareness shifts from ego to love, we touch our eternal nature and become one with the Universe.  This is our challenge.

The scriptural passages above are from The Complete Works of Lao Tzu, Translation and Elucidation by Hua-Ching Ni, and The New American Standard Bible.

“What are you doing?” Facebook wants to know with immediacy. Twitter wants to know in general. People calling on the phone often open with that line. “What do you do?” is another loaded question. Both can seem obtrusive in certain settings. “Why do you do what you do?” is more interesting. Should we upgrade Facebook to Mindbook?

Why are you a teacher? What made you decide to study physics? Why do you travel for your job? Why stay home with children? Why did you get married? I like to ask these “why” questions, but I normally reserve them for just the right person or occasion. I can always ask myself why I am doing something without fear of offense or intrusion; so I do.

If we know the why behind the what, then we are lucky. If we don’t like the what, the why can can be our jail key. If we do like the what, the why is a nice bonus. We each have different gifts…and also different needs.

In elementary school, my friend resolved to become a doctor when she was diagnosed with childhood diabetes. Thirty years later, she is indeed a doctor.

A law school friend told me that she chose her field to advocate for others because she felt oppressed throughout her childhood. When she had needed a real advocate no one was there to fill that void. Now she advocates for others, accepting that her own life experiences revealed her calling.

A clinical psychologist once told me that part of her journey to heal from childhood sexual abuse and religious dysfunction was learning and practicing psychotherapy. In the process, she was able to guide the healing of others.

Certain professions have an obvious motivation–others less so. Some professionals have an entirely different motivation than that which appears on the surface.

Some people claim that life decisions are more the product of circumstance than of intention. In the short term, this is believable. What happens when the circumstances change and intention can guide daily pursuits? What happens when we discover our intentions?

For the very first time, I am open to the possibility that circumstances are perceived rather than imposed. I am willing to act based on authentic intention. Authentic intention is the marriage of purpose and desire. So often there is a purpose without desire or a desire unguided by purpose. I am allowing my authentic intention to unfold. This is a new kind of freedom precluding statements of certainty. I would rather be prohibited by freedom than propelled by false intention.

When the Why precedes the What, there is no dead end. The path is wide open.

I am beginning to understand why marriage can initially be so difficult
for people who have grown up with divorce in their family. This has to be experiential knowledge. I am also learning why it is so good for us to acknowledge and work through the challenges, rather than suppressing them.

I feel like the more divorce we see as kids, and the more enmeshed we are with our parents and their struggles, the more we shut down in certain areas in marriage. I know this because I used to be married to someone who had divorced parents as well. Then I married someone from a happy, conventional family. In my first marriage, there were all sorts of pieces missing. There was an unquestioned status quo that finally gave out with very little drama. It was like, “OK, so this is useless. Good luck!” This time there is much more emphasis on communication, consistency and keeping things above board.

For me, the biggest challenge is feeling comfortable with real stability
and security. I visited this issue in my 20’s and then managed to forget about it. The second biggest challenge is finding contentment in monogamy, in the emotional and physical sense. I didn’t even like having long term boyfriends when I was younger. This may very well stem from abandonment fears. Beyond the initial thrill of new intimacy, there is a period of committment that feels very good. Beyond that initial period there is a routine. The routine sometimes feels good and other times produces zero feeling or an anxious feeling. This is what I have discovered. It makes sense that I don’t feel comfortable being consistently loved by someone over a long period of time, because it is a new experience for me. In my formative experiences I was loved for a while and then the person would leave, act abusive or both. There were very good periods always followed by bad periods and no way to tell what
was around the corner. I felt comfortable that way and even euphoric when changes would occur. This lasted into college.

Jumping from a lifetime of chaos to a lifetime of supposed domestic
stability is quite difficult. When I was in my 20’s and did not have
children, it didn’t matter that it was difficult. Now, until recently, I
have not consciously realized that it is difficult. I have had anxiety
that has manifested physically. The actual anxiety was never examined.

When I was engaged the second time I began thinking about other men. I completely passed it off as normal. I was then immediately pregnant upon marrying so that took up my focus for quite some time. Then I had a new baby and was pregnant again very soon thereafter. Now that I have some distance from child bearing, I am looking at the monogamy issue again. Why does this feel unnatural to me? I do not want it to feel unnatural.

I am learning to allow myself to be loved and enjoy it. It is almost like
relaxing into a new or challenging yoga pose. If I am loved for very long by someone, I generally start to get uncomfortable in that situation and look for ways to sabotage it. I can convince myself that I am truly happy in my marriage, yet I am thinking about things or people that would harm it. This conflict creates anxiety and tension. If I go back to the place I was when I started the thoughts of sabotage, I can ask myself what was happening then. What was happening? I was in a loving, consistent relationship. How did I feel? Somewhat absent and anxious. Then I can let go of any feeling and start anew. I can let go and wait. If I wait and something else comes into my mind that is distracting, I can learn to let that thing go and stay mindful. If I can be mindful in the midst of my good life, then I can learn to love it and feel comfortable with it.
That is the goal.

With children, there is much less of an issue. It is easier to feel
comfortable loving my children and being in the parent role. I attribute this to a lack of fear. Even though I am not consciously aware of my abandonment fears with my husband, it makes sense that the fears would exist. Even when I start to see negative patterns surfacing with my kids, it is much easier to step back. I can look at where I want to be and get there quickly. Also, my relationship with my kids feels forever new, challenging and exciting. I continue to get to know them because they continue to change and they fascinate me.

Adults also change continually, but the communication mechanisms in
marriage can turn lackluster if they are not constantly upgraded. It is
difficult to remain aware of a partner’s continual growth and renewal. We take for granted that they are the same. Even they want us to think that they are the same because it takes more work to revolutionize the dynamic. Why not keep the dynamic the same… if it isn’t broken don’t fix it. The problem with this mentality is that people won’t know the dynamic is broken until it’s too late.

Marriage is challenging even for people who come from traditional families. For those of us from families with one or more divorces, long-term love can be daunting. It is easy to underestimate this difficulty, and to overcompensate by masking it entirely. Once the challenge is masked by the lies we tell ourselves to feel competent and worthy, it takes concerted effort to get unmired. I am learning how to do that work. Ironically, the main tasks are relaxing into love and letting it in. Effort that quickly turns into good feelings is more than worthwhile!

What is your first thought when you or a loved one gets sick? How do you feel about illness? Take a moment and answer that question for yourself. Then ask yourself how you feel about your body right now. Are you aware of it? Are you indifferent, pleased, concerned or annoyed? Do you accept your body as it is? There are no incorrect answers. These questions are subjective and individual.

Many spiritual teachers and alternative healers tell us that we create the conditions in our body with our thoughts. Do you agree with this, and if so, to what extent?

I recently watched a recorded speech given by Eckhart Tolle. He spoke about the death of human bodies. He said “bodies dissolve.” He did not limit talk of death to the elderly, but he did mention that as we get older we start to look around and notice more and more bodies dissolving. I liked the terms he used to speak of illness and death. I listen to Eckhart because he is accepting of the human condition and he radiates compassion.

I like my body. I accept it. I take care of it by eating well, avoiding most toxins and exercising regularly.

I do not consciously fear death. In the past I was afraid of illness. My attitude with respect to illness has changed dramatically in recent years. I was fortunate enough to be extremely healthy for 34 years. To this day, I consider myself healthy.

At the age of 35, I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. My diagnosis came months after I contracted Lyme. Initially I experienced a painful nerve injury which paralyzed the left side of my face. I partially recovered from this injury. I also experienced back and neck pain, insomnia, fatigue, mental fog and a heart arrhythmia with a partial block. After a month of treatment with antibiotics, most of those symptoms subsided. I forgot about Lyme for the most part.

In recent weeks I am experiencing some of my initial symptoms again. I am looking into Lyme disease recurrence or what some people call “chronic Lyme.” I am not sure if it applies to me or if my symptoms can be explained by something else. I am amazed once again by how great I felt before the Lyme and also after receiving the antibiotic treatment. I don’t even feel all that bad now. I doubt that the Lyme and the ensuing symptoms are the result of my thoughts. I am not saying this is impossible. I simply doubt the theory.

Illness can be psychosomatic. Illnesses are often brought on by stress. Negative thinking patterns are certainly unhealthy. At the same time, all of us experience illness. We show love to ourselves and others by responding to illness with compassion. As we progress spiritually, we learn to accept phenomena rather than resisting. I love acceptance and what it can do for me. I feel better when I accept temporary and even permanent discomfort rather than resisting with my will, my feelings and my thoughts. I don’t like the dualistic view that puts illness and death at odds with wellness and life.

Most likely you have heard of or read Louise Hay. She is a revolutionary healer, teacher and writer. Metaphysicians, alternative healers and holistic minded people everywhere respect her work. She has authored multiple best sellers. In her books, You Can Heal Your Body and You Can Heal Your Life, she has a fairly comprehensive List of physical ailments followed by their probable mental causes and recommended affirmations for overcoming the ailments. Like many alternative healers, she refers to illness as “dis-ease,” a condition that disrupts the natural state of ease. She does not have a cause listed for Lyme dis-ease, but she does address malaria, a related illness. The probable cause of malaria in Hay’s List is, “Out of balance with nature and with life.” On an unrelated note, her listed probable cause for fistula is, “Fear. A blockage in the letting-go process.” If you have not heard of fistula, you may want to google it. I donate to a wonderful charity for this dis-ease: http://www.fightfistula.org/

The term “dis-ease” calls to mind the Four Noble Truths of Dukkha in Buddhist teachings. The philosophical meaning of dukkha is analogous to “disquietude,” as in the condition of being disturbed. The term is usually translated as suffering. Here is a definition from Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta: Setting the Wheel of Dharma in Motion: “Now this, monks, is the Noble Truth of dukkha: Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, & despair are dukkha; association with the unbeloved is dukkha; separation from the loved is dukkha; not getting what is wanted is dukkha. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are dukkha.”

My approach to overcoming disquietude of any form is to accept it and find peace through meditation, prayer, yoga and other spiritual practices. I also try to pinpoint any thoughts that may contribute to disquietude, but I don’t have a set of affirmations or a plan to combat bodily discomfort through changing my thoughts. I accept some of my negative thoughts and feelings. I don’t particularly like dualism so I try not to spend too much time parsing out the good and bad in my mind. I feel that this could lead to obsessive thoughts and behaviors. I like the idea of letting go of thoughts, even if I am rarely able to do so.

I accept dis-ease as part of life. I am grateful for the opportunity that illness provides to care for myself and my loved ones with more love and diligence.