The things that I find exciting about the human body are not what we can touch directly. We take our cars to body shops for repairs and perform maintenance every so many miles but what keeps a body going? Why do some go on for 100 years and others half that time? You can answer it’s genetic but why are the genes doing what they are doing? Who is giving the orders and who or what is taking orders? Why is a touch significant? Why do we need to sleep and what is consciousness? Let me try and answer some of these questions.

You can see my problem isn’t about ego. Most people would base a book on the above and I’m trying to answer in a page or so. When you think of the communication going on in the body it all boils down to the cell membrane and what communicates with it. How we are touched by others and how we reach out to touch others creates an internal chemistry that speaks directly to every cell. There is memory and intelligence in every cell. It has a job to do and has been equipped to do it but it is still following orders that integrate it into the needs of the body as a whole. Who or what is in charge and makes the decisions is beyond understanding as far as I am concerned.

We know from the stories of transplant recipients that organs carry memory. A painful life has its adverse effects when it leads one to not want to live. The will to live is not just about desire but about the chemistry and internal messages which is being communicated to the cell. I know how I feel on my difficult days and I pay attention to those feelings and internal messages and respond to them.

Bacteria are capable of making intelligent genetic changes and becoming resistant to antibiotics and this upsets us but why not be pleased instead by the ability that exists within us also to do that and survive. I know it is more difficult for us then the bacteria because of how simple their lives are compared to ours.
However, everyone with a gene for a disease doesn’t get it. I know of identical twins who have the same disease but I know of more who don’t. I believe their lifestyle, both physical and emotional, makes the difference. Again this is not about blame but about internal wisdom and messages.

Think of the great undifferentiated potential from which we all come. Now think of yourself as a circle within that circle with no circumference. You are touching it, separate from it and a part of it, all at the same time. You are aware and conscious of yourself and more. Our bodies may be present locally but consciousness goes beyond any physical limitations. I have had personal experiences with intuitives and mediums that have convinced me of our potential to communicate and see in ways that most of us are not taught even exist. the CIA uses these non local abilities to spy on people.

I think it a part of our brain requires rest so that it can communicate in symbols while we sleep. Think about it. Why do we sleep when sleep is dangerous? Predators can pounce upon sleeping animals. So why do what is dangerous? I believe that sleep is necessary to restore and maintain the system upon which consciousness depends. It is true that we hear while we sleep so there is some safeguard from noisy threats but a good predator is quiet.

As a surgeon I am fascinated by sleep and anesthesia. We don’t know how anesthesia works but we use it every day. My sense is that it works through the pathways that lead to sleep. We can lose consciousness but still maintain all the other body functions and even respond physiologically to verbal commands and touch while anesthetized. So consciousness exists during sleep and communicates what we need to know via symbols.

What happens to consciousness when the body dies? Again my opinion is from my experience that it continues to exist without the body. That great undifferentiated potential from which we are derived is conscious without form. We give it form so it can act and touch other living things. The touch that cannot be felt is a mystical or spiritual event that most people never experience.

My hope is that someday we will all experience both touches. That of other living things be they our pets, family or therapists and also the touch of creation so that we feel a part of something greater then we appear to be. I think when people feel this connection their membranes get a very powerful live message and feel integrated into the process of creation and so we sing, ‘Touch me and know what happiness is.’

Remember you are the one who sets the limits as to how far you can reach and what you can touch in your lifetime. So make the sky your nonexistent limit.

Why am I sharing this? Why do I want you to have a sense of awe? So that each day will be a gift of wonder and not a burden. As a surgeon I need to be practical, just as you do, but to experience life and healing one needs to reach beyond the practical, palpable things that fill our lives and live with a sense of wonder and awe.

I want you to achieve your potential. As Ernest Holmes said, “What if Jesus was the only normal person who ever lived?” Hmmmm, think about that for a minute.

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The key to life in all its forms is its ability to communicate. This includes the ability of complex organisms like ourselves to communicate with each other but more importantly within ourselves, our individual organs and cells. How do animals communicate without words? Studies show they can count and make intelligent choices when given options yet we do not know how they are able to reason and communicate without using words.

Life began with one celled organisms who learned how to communicate by altering the chemistry of their environment. In times of danger they would secrete substances which led them to come together into a balls of cells which would survive adverse living conditions like droughts or temperature fluctuations. Today these same methods of communication go on within us but problems arise when we do not pay attention to these messages of danger because of our level of consciousness. Notice I didn’t say intelligence. If we were intelligent we would pay attention to the messages we are giving our bodies and they are giving us so that the intracellular signals would be life enhancing and not disease inducing.

Think of the simple fact that Monday has a higher mortality and suicide rate then other days of the week and you begin to see why we are not the wisest of creatures. Bacteria develop resistance to antibiotics by intelligent alterations in their genetic mechanisms and survive. We can’t even get through the week without succumbing to adverse conditions.

I also marvel at the intelligence within a seed. Did you ever notice how seeds will sprout and grow through pavement to survive. How do they know which way is up without sensing warmth? There is a sense of gravity within a seed and they don’t give in to adversity when they run into obstacles. They push forward or find new ways to reach the light. What signals them to keep going and not succumb?

The method of communication has to be chemical signals within the cell directing its behavior but how a protein molecule thinks and knows what to do is beyond me and probably science’s understanding. It is awesome to think of one cell developing into a human being and differentiating into all the components we are made of and getting them to develop in the right places too. Think of the endless number of signals which must be given to each intracellular component to do this.

Now think of the signals this organism receives after it is formed. What does a touch, hug or caress say to it about living? What do unexpressed fears, despair and depression tell it about the desire to live. Every cell in our bodies is aware of our will to live and our desires and intentions. The emotional and the physical are one. Mind and matter are not separate entities. Just as one celled organisms reacted to their environment our cells react to both our physical and emotional environments because there is a chemistry to both.

The question is what messages are you giving your body so that the signals created are life enhancing and not life threatening. I think the key words and signals are inspiration and expiration. We use the latter when things are ending. When someone dies we say he expired. The breath of life has left.

Inspiration is a word that fills us with the joy of living and our desire and intention to survive. Inspiration means breathing in but it also speaks of being inspired to create life and survive hardships. When I meet an inspired individual who is living a meaningful life I know they will live longer in the face of adversity then others with the same afflictions or problems. I believe this is why some people overcome so called incurable diseases. They find new meaning in life and signal their bodies that their desire and intention and determination is to live. They are not ready to expire because they are inspired to live, love and serve.

Their bodies get the message and changes occur which lead to their healing and curing themselves and their bodies. Now we are getting somewhere. Like the bacteria we are living with a sense of our mission here and role in creation and respond to adversity with a will to live. We see this idea supported by research being done today. Join a support group or simply keep a journal of your feelings and you slow the progression of your disease, reduce the number of symptoms, lower the recurrence and death rates. It doesn’t matter what the disease is. The will to live is physiologic and communicated to every cell in your body.

Remember the song, “Eat an apple every day. Go to bed by three. Take good care of yourself. You belong to me. Be careful crossing streets. Don’t eat meats ‘cause you’ll get a pain and ruin your tum, tum.” You don’t know how lucky you are reading this and not having me sing it to you. The latter might create some negative signals to your body.

The message is clear. Give your body messages and signals related to your inspiration and will to live. Your body will do the best it can to sustain you when you do so. Exercise produces neuropeptides which protect the cardiovascular system. Massage enhances growth and immune function. The beneficial effects of love are not an accident. So find your reason for living now and get going. Then you will never be working and Mondays won’t be a threat to your health.

One last word of advice. This article is not written to help you avoid disease and death but to help you enjoy life. In Heaven the grumpiest people are the vegetarian, meditating, joggers who despite eating only vegetables, meditating regularly and getting up early every day to jog died anyway. So do what feels right because that is how those chemical messages from your body are communicated, through feelings and not what is thought. The body signals us too. The mind matters and feelings matter and when we live right they are the healthiest unit they can be. Consciousness and matter unify and become one through the inspirational signals we provide. So get in touch with your body.

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I began to refer to God as a woman years ago when I saw how many survival qualities were feminine qualities. On the other hand we have to ask why did Eve eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge and get Adam to taste it also rather than the other way around? What is it about women that leads them to behave in a way that men have trouble dealing with or performing?

I would guess our creator knew that women are involved in relationships and completeness while men are busy doing and perfecting. So naturally Eve tastes the fruit as any child would, who is told not to do something, while the parents are away. Out of that taste we learn we are mortal and naked. The latter is not a problem to cover up but the former is.

However, out of the awareness of our mortality come the true lessons on living. So I am grateful to Eve for her act and openness to the serpents suggestions. Out of that experience I believe women have developed many more survival skills which relate to their lives having meaning. For men the meaning is most often in what they can do and when they can’t do they die. Women relate to people and, therefore, find meaning in their relationships no matter what their state of health. To quote two women, one with nine children, “I can’t die ‘till your all married and out of the house” and she lasted 23 years to do that. The other begged to be kept alive for her son’s wedding. Extreme measures were done and she was able to leave the hospital and go to the wedding in a wheel chair. Upon her return everyone expected her to get into bed and die. Instead she announced as she was wheeled off the elevator, “Don’t forget I’ve got another son.”

Married men live longer than single men and have less lung cancer then single men who smoke just as many cigarettes. Women with the same cancers as men live longer. Some oncologists will tell you that estrogen and progesterone must be protecting the women and sleeping with it is protecting the men. Just kidding. The truth is again the survival value of the feminine qualities.

One thing, however, I am concerned about is that after the kids leave home what is the meaning of a mother’s life. I see men die when they retire and women when the kids leave home. So each of us must ask how would you introduce yourself to God. Mother, lawyer, Dad etc.. doesn’t get you in. When you realize your authentic self and divine nature God says come on in. Then your survival is not dependent upon the role you are playing but the life you are living.

Someday I hope we will all develop our feminine and masculine qualities. In my book Prescriptions For Living I refer to it as marrying yourself. When you become a complete human being and not a human doing you achieve the life intended for you and will live the longest healthiest life you are capable of.

Until that day there is no question that women are the stronger sex. My wife, Bobbie, does comedy and several of her one liners come to mind. “Women who think they are equal to men lack ambition. Women have to accomplish twice as much as men to be recognized, but that’s not hard and behind every successful woman there’s a man who is sulking.” For the men, “Women aren’t perfect three quarters of all women can’t understand fractions and the other half doesn’t give a damn.”

So develop your whole self but remember the meaning of life is not in how many things you can fix but how many lives you can touch.

http://www.berniesiegelmd.com

The meaning of existence was to preserve unspoiled, undisturbed and undistorted the image of eternity with which each person is born. Like a silver moon in a calm, still pond.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn

Conceiving a child and raising it to feel loved is the most significant action parents can attain. A loved child becomes not only a creative, inspiring being but one who helps all living things to survive and thrive. Think of your child as a young artist who has come to you to learn how to paint or sculpt. As a teacher you would show patience and guide and instruct the child so they can create a work of art. You would not throw out their painting or pottery but show them how to rework it and create a true work of art. Well you have the clay, the paint and the blank canvas to work with; your child.

As a surgeon I listened to eighty five year old parents complain about their kid and I had to laugh remembering they were talking about a kid, who was in his sixties. We can constantly be critical of our children by using phrases like, “There’s something wrong with you.” Or we can let them know they are loved even when we don’t like what they are doing.

I know from working with all age groups that when you ask eighty or ninety year olds whether their parents loved them close to ninety percent answer yes; but when you ask high school students the same question the figures are reversed. When for homework you ask students to write a note about why they should commit suicide and why they are loveable the suicide notes are three to five pages long and the love notes one page. I am not trying to depress all the parents reading this. I have lived the experience with our five children so I know wounds can be healed and that if we are truly educated about the parenting experience our children will be the beneficiaries. Licenses are needed for just about every significant activity or occupation except parenting. So when the birthing classes finish start parenting classes and learn from those who have preceded you and lived the experience.

Why is it your children’s children are called grand and their children become great grand children? The answer is that as we grow and mature and learn what is truly important in life we see the children as grand and great. So if you do not have time to read this entire article all I ask of you is to act as if you are a loving grand parent towards your children. I was born an ugly duckling, who my parents hid in a covered carriage. I survived because I had a grandmother who, to quote my mother, “Poured oil over your body and pushed everything back where it belonged many times a day.” I didn’t have to find my own beauty, as the ugly duckling did, because I had a grandmother. Studies show the benefits of massage in newborns by their rapid weight gain. So touch and massage your children and watch them grow and develop in response to your loving touch. One teenager I know said she was staying at her grandmother’s house and there were no full size mirrors for her to look in before she went off to high school. When she complained to her grandmother her grandmother said, “Come over here and look into my eyes and you’ll see how beautiful you are.” There are many ways to touch your child.

We must remember the opposite of love is indifference. So the child who feels unloved and drives you nuts gets your attention. While the angel often feels unloved because no one pays attention to him. As one of our children said, “I don’t get twenty per cent of your time.” I explained his brother drove us nuts and got forty per cent. I admire the fact that he felt comfortable confronting his father with those statistics. When siblings are born one or five years apart there is little rivalry. So apologize, as I have, to our kids and help them become a family. Our children learned that love and appropriate anger can exist together. Make magic and do things as a family every week. It can be eating out, going skating, visiting a museum, whatever; just make it an activity that allows you to interact and not sit staring at a TV set or a movie screen. When you do the latter have a session in which you all discuss your reaction to what you saw and learn from each other.

Various states are currently debating passing laws to ban spanking until age four and not allowing smoking in cars with children under the age of six, while a religious cult in another state wants a law passed to allow whipping of children. I can see the fourth birthday becoming spanking day to make up for what parents weren’t allowed to do until that day. It is absurd. What we need is a law which says you must love your children.. I know smokers who smoke outdoors to protect their pets but do not think about their children’s lungs. Love is the answer. As Emmet Fox wrote, “There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer; It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble; A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.” A young woman I know whose parents are alcoholics started saying to them every morning, “I love you.” They never answered her. After doing this for three months she ran out of the house one morning late for school. Her parents were in the street yelling, “You forgot something.” “What did I forget?” “You didn’t say I love you.” Their healing began.

Yes, love is a weapon and I prefer to kill with kindness and torment with tenderness.

When we do this our natural tendencies towards aggression are utilized in creative ways through work, sports, games and hobbies and not through destructive behavior. A child’s brain wave pattern up to the age of six is like that of a hypnotized individual. So your messages can stay with them for a lifetime. If they are mottoes to die by, and the child does not make a conscious effort to eliminate and abandon them, it does lead to their illness and early death. A study of Harvard students showed that of those who felt loved by their parents, while attending college, only one fourth had suffered an illness by midlife while almost one hundred percent of those who didn’t feel loved had suffered a major illness by midlife. The addictions and self destructive behavior are not an accident. To quote a woman who said her mother always belittled her efforts and only dressed her in dark clothes, “My mother’s words were eating away at me and maybe gave me cancer.” The cancer motivated her to be born again and redirect her life; reparent herself, find self love and buy a red dress. So curses can became blessings as castles can be built out of the mud.

Centuries ago Maimonides wrote, “If people would take as good care of themselves as they do their animals they would suffer fewer illnesses.” So get some pets and treat your children as you do your beloved pets with love, affection, trust, respect, consistency, discipline, exercise and a reverence for life. Those bits of advice actually come from veterinarians. So when in doubt WWLD; just ask yourself What Would Lassie Do?

If your children have any questions just remember love is my answer. My Mom’s answers were, “Do what will make you happy.” “Troubles are God’s redirections and something good will come of this.” And my Dad’s, “Material things are to make life easier and when you are happy you are a success.”

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be content with what you have
rejoice in the way things are
when you realize there is nothing lacking
the whole world belongs to you

lao-tzu

http://www.berniesiegelmd.com

The present health care crisis is not just related to health care it is a crisis related to what is happening in our society. We have become depersonalized as a society, invested in technology and not the experience people are having. Studies verify what happens to children who grow up unloved and experiencing indifference, rejection and abuse. By midlife if they haven’t killed themselves and others while seeking revenge and experiencing guilt related to their actions, almost one hundred percent of them have experienced a major illness, while loved children have one-fourth the serious illness rate.

Information does not resolve unhealthy behavior. People who smoke or are two hundred pounds overweight are not acting out of stupidity or a lack of knowledge. What everyone needs is inspiration. When parents, teachers, clergy, doctors, politicians and other authority figures display their love for individuals they are related to or caring for the health of the planet and its residents will improve. This is not about liking what people are doing but it is about loving them and maintaining a relationship with them until they realize they are worthy and loved. At that point they begin to follow instructions and behave in a manner that is life enhancing and not self destructive. I know this from my experience as a surgeon who did not reject his patients.

When you grow up without love what you seek are rewards and feelings that you never experienced in a healthy way. So the individual turns to addictions of drugs, food alcohol and more as a way of rewarding themselves and numbing their pain. We need to listen to each other and treat the wounds of the individuals we are caring for and about. Studies reveal that when a patient states that their doctor listened to them during their office visit they are far more likely to take their medication and follow the doctor’s advice.

ociety needs to see parenting as a public health issue and help parents to bring their children up feeling loved. We have birthing classes but no parenting classes. The latter is desperately needed if we are to avoid self destruction. All authority figures in a person’s life become either destructive or constructive parents for the individual. This includes everything from global warming to obesity. If you grow up with a sense of self worth and esteem you do not behave in a destructive and unhealthy manner towards yourself and others. As the father of five children I know the importance of letting the children know that parental discipline comes from a sense of love for them. Then they follow directions because it gives a new sense of meaning to the message. I was called a CD by a suicidal teenager, who is alive today because I became her Chosen Dad, who loved her. We all have the potential to reparent ourselves and others.

Doctors also need to understand that what people need is treatment of not just their diagnosis but their experience. When you ask patients what they want from their doctors they do not ask that every disease be cured but they do ask that doctors, “Knock on my door, Look me in the eye when they talk to me, Say hello and goodbye and Call me by my name.”

Having a disease is an experience which varies with every individual. If you ask one hundred people with the same illness to describe their experience you will get a different answer from almost every one of them. I know from experience as a physician who has counseled cancer patients and others for decades. The words they come up with relate to their life and help me to treat them and understand their woundedness.

When a major medical journal publishes a pharmaceutical ad which reads, “I was depressed, unable to cope. I went to see my physician. I said you’ve got to help me. He prescribed an antidepressant and I feel wonderful now.” I wrote in criticizing them for ignoring the patient’s needs and responding so impersonally and asked them to insert a sentence which asked what was happening in the patient’s life. They cancelled the ad.

I know doctors whose salaries were capped because they talked to patients four minutes longer than the department average. That is sick also. The American College of Surgeons pledge ends with, “I will deal with my patients as I would wish to be dealt with if I were in the patient’s position.” I gave up trying to get them to change it to care for my patients as I would wish to be cared for. The only way to avoid a health care crisis is to care for and about the people who need our care. We also should reward those who remain healthy. If I do not require a doctor’s service, except for an annual physical exam, or any medications why not reward me at the end of the year with a refund or lower premium on my health insurance. If I am a safe driver I am rewarded. So why not reward me for safe and healthy living and let those who are self destructive pay the price and maybe rethink their actions if it becomes costly for them.

We also ought to be sure that all future doctors and health care executives spend a week in a hospital bed so they no longer are tourists but have the native’s experience. The former CEO of the Ritz Carleton Hotels, Horst Schulze, changed the way the hotels were run after he spent time in a hospital being treated for cancer. He humanized them so employees took on the problems of their hotel residents and greeted them by name. Every employee gets a list of twenty behavior patterns that they are to adopt. Some hospitals have used this list when I gave them a copy.

We also need to understand that we have something to learn from patients who do better than expected. There are cases of self induced healing and we can learn about survival behavior from these people and teach it to others. Relationships, connections, meaning all are survival behavior qualities. It is no accident that women live longer than men with the same cancers and that married men live longer than single men and have less lung cancer than single men if they are both smokers.

We could also cancel Monday and reduce the rate of heart attacks, strokes, suicides and other illnesses. Truth is that wouldn’t work because Tuesday would now be the problem. Again we need to teach people how to cope with stress and how to control their depression, fears and other self destructive emotions. Your body loves you but if you do not love your life it will end it far sooner thinking it is doing you a favor.

Mind body medicine should not be an alternative nor should complementary and integrative medicine be something doctors are not exposed to during their training. Medical journals which are supported by pharmaceutical advertising do not print articles which would expose doctors to alternative therapies. When patients are diagnosed with an illness they should be given instructions, not just a pill to swallow, about how to enhance their immune function and act like someone with an immune competent personality. Psychiatrist George Solomon saw the benefits of such behavior early on when working with HIV+ patients and I see it in cancer patients and others. Doctors need to be teachers. Doctors also aren’t trained in mind body medicine. They are not told about Carl Jung interpreting a dream and diagnosing a brain tumor. Yes, mind and body communicate and the inner wisdom is also vital to survival. The patient’s beliefs affect the outcome of therapy. When chemotherapy is portrayed as the devil giving you poison you are in big trouble. So doctors need to be taught how to communicate and enhance our healing potential. Scalpels can kill or cure and so can words become swords.

Survival behavior means people should not be submissive, suffering patients but respants, or responsible participants. One hundred thousand people a year die from medical errors. Patients need to be known as people and not by their disease or room number. We need to humanize the system for both the doctor and the patient. Then doctors will know how to deal with their feelings and loss and not just think and separate themselves from their patients so they will feel less pain if their patient dies. There are many famous paintings showing the doctor sitting next to the patient’s bed, chin in hand, thinking while their patient is dying. We need to reach out and touch each other and to quote a young man who died of AIDS. “What is evil is not the disease but to not treat the person with the disease with compassion.”

My life as a physician was changed when my patient with breast cancer said to me, “You’re a nice guy. I feel better when I am in the office with you but I can’t take you home with me. So I need to know how to live between office visits.” I started support groups to help them to learn. I was amazed at how few patients came to the groups when I offered them a longer better life if they attended. I learned that if you grew up with guilt, shame and blame, due to parents, teachers and religions, you were afraid to participate in your own well being. That is why the group became ECaP or Exceptional Cancer Patients. What I learned was when you helped people to live they derived physical benefits from their new joyful life and didn’t die when they were supposed to. The best hospices have graduations and drop outs too.

If I were in charge of health care I would also reward those people and companies who show the benefits of treatments that they can’t patent. A tax deduction or some other financial reward would help lead them to investigate more natural therapies and treatments rather than reject them as unproven or unknown.
I have continued to run support groups for over thirty years. I have also benefited from the therapy. I have learned that people are not statistics and that we have to help them to achieve their potential and not see death as a failure or lost battle. When we see disease as the enemy and only focus on killing the disease we empower our enemy. As Mother Teresa said, “I will not attend an anti-war rally but if you ever have a peace rally call me.”

We need to help people to heal their lives and bodies and benefit from the healing and the internal environment it creates. We give messages and instructions to our genes and so our lifestyle and personality all affect our vulnerability. Just as bacteria, viruses and plant life alter their genes to survive antibiotics, vaccines and the environment so can we.

Medicine needs to focus on the people with the illness and not just the disease.
I have many articles on my web site, www.berniesiegelmd.com, relating to my experience with patients and their survival behavior. I also have written many books and made many audios available to empower patients and to share what I have learned about life, living, healing, loss and more. My best known book is Love, Medicine & Miracles and the latest Faith, Hope & Healing. Again this is not about becoming immortal but about living an authentic life and not one imposed upon you by others and realizing the only thing of permanence is love.

Dr. Bernie Siegel: http://www.berniesiegelmd.com