» Recovering From A Major Loss: Dedicated To Japan & The Tornado Survivors

Simply Serenity

Inspiration for inner peace and love by Lauralyn, a yoga and angel therapist.

Recovering From A Major Loss: Dedicated To Japan & The Tornado Survivors

by Lauralyn Harter

April 20th, 2011

More tragedy strikes

This week, deadly tornados struck the South, where I just so happened to move after I lost my home in Santa Monica to a fire in December. A tornado ripped through the neighborhood I’m currently living in, tearing up homes, uprooting trees and throwing SUV’s. Thankfully, the home I’m a guest in is still intact and I don’t have to replace any belongings – yet again.

“It’s terrible what happened to those people,” someone said to me. “Losing their homes like that.”

“I know,” I nodded sadly.

“But they lost everything,” she said, implying that it wasn’t as bad as what I had experienced a few months earlier. It’s true my home wasn’t blown away by a tornado, but it was engulfed in fire, and I lost a lot – most importantly, I lost a large chunk of my income that I have yet to recover, which is why I am currently still homeless and living as a guest in my friend’s condo until I earn enough to have my own place again. To be honest, after a few months, I still feel overwhelmed by the idea of signing another lease. I have this dread that I won’t be safe. (I believe this fear is serving a purpose that I will soon understand.)

I pray that the people here who lost their homes will receive assistance, and have income to help them get back on their feet. That’s what you need to help you recover after a disaster that leaves you homeless. It is traumatizing. As I’ve personally learned, the shock and trauma from losing your home violently can take months or even longer to process. It’s so overwhelming to the brain that it almost feels as if you get frozen in time, stuck in a purgatory, not able to go back to where you were, and not able to move on to something better. You live in numbness for a while, then immense grief, then anger, then asking why? You find yourself more sensitive and jumpy than usual as your nervous system and fight or flight response start changing your chemistry.

The After Effects Of Sudden Homelessness

Before you know it, you find yourself easily overwhelmed, exhausted, having difficulty sleeping, your appetite may disappear or feel starved. You may feel you don’t belong anywhere, like a nomad, and start withdrawing from people because other people’s stability is a reminder of what you lost. In fact, any and every little thing could trigger one of the many symptoms of the PTSD that is experienced after a trauma like losing your home. Snappy, impatient, moody, some days you may question your sanity. What you need most is compassion for yourself, forgiveness for the event, and trust that God is leading you someplace better. The challenge is having faith that beyond all outer appearances, you are safe. You have your spirit, and you have God, and that is where true safety lies. Not in the chaos that life throws you here on earth. This is a boot camp, a crazy world where we multi-task emotions, dodge suffering wherever we can, try our best to make decisions that will predict a positive future, and not lose ourselves to drama and negativity along the way. Because those things will consume you, they will weaken your vitality and drain the joy from your life. And without joy, life becomes a burdensome chore – something to drag yourself through instead of actually live.

Depression and anxiety are normal reactions to losing your home. Anger, panic, confusion, and fear are all part of the process when your life is unexpectedly and violently uprooted without warning. Your life is interrupted, everything you knew as home, your safe place, your place to retreat and relax, is ripped away from you and you’re left feeling all alone in the world, a wanderer without organization, direction or preparation. It is a frightening experience.

The Recovery Process

But one day at a time, it gets better. A plan begins to unfold. Help comes through unexpected sources. You may witness kindness from strangers unlike you’ve ever seen before. You have to learn how to accept help, and may have to deal with being in a less than ideal place temporarily while God paves the way for your next move in life. You have to make the best out of a horrible situation. You may cry every day. You may complain a lot. You may dislike yourself some days when you wonder where your old happy self went. You may even get angry at God – but all that does is isolate you from the greatest source of love that there is in the Universe. The mind needs to find blame because it has to make sense out of the senseless. There seems to be this belief that if we understood why something bad happened then it wouldn’t feel as bad, but we know that’s not true. Nothing can take away the pain from trauma except time, healing and new positive experiences. It’s hard living with mysteries, and to accept major loss and the reconstruction of your life that follows. But it’s harder to stop living all together and remain a prisoner to the day when your life took a sudden change in a new direction.

Healing is a day by day process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Like a migrating bird, you must build a new nest, one twig at a time. And before you know it, you will feel you’re a part of life again. You will feel you belong somewhere. And you will have overcome one of the biggest challenges in life to find yourself in a new sanctuary with two things no disaster could take away from you: love + gratitude.

www.heavenhealingarts.com

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