In most, if not all, of our lives, we have looked around at others and wondered, “Why am I not more like so and so?” As we mature, we start to realize that so and so had his or her life challenges also. Whatever we have, even if we perceive it to be not much at the moment, let’s commit to seeking out the good bits and reveling in them.

The founders of the school of Positive Psychology want us to identify our Signature Strengths so that we might be clear about what they are and embrace them. (See Dr. Jeanine’s website link’s page for the Authentic Happiness test). When we find ourselves struggling with any type of challenge, knowing what our natural strengths are, such as humor or gratitude, will help us to be deliberate in utilizing them to cope.

Most of us are probably under-utilizing our gifts and focusing too much on what we think we don’t have. Some of us run a tape in our minds of unkind things we say to ourselves. Most of these things we would never think about another human being whom we love, but we have grown comfortable saying them to ourselves.

When we look in the mirror, many of us say, “I look tired!” or “Yuck! I’ve gained weight, I look terrible!” Remember Billy Crystal’s Saturday Night Live Fernando Lamas-esque character who greeted everyone with “Darling, you look “Mahvelas!”? Why aren’t we all saying that? After all, we are all marvelous, even if our eyeliner from earlier in the day is smudged and we believe we don’t have it all together.

We have all heard the adage “You can’t love anyone else until you love yourself”. Unfortunately, the adage didn’t come with an easy instruction booklet. Perhaps, instruction number one should be that the next time you look in the mirror that you commit to saying joyfully “Oh snap! Who dat?

(c) 2007 Jeanine Austin, Ph.D., C.Ht.

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