Thursday, I found out that my contract was not going to be renewed at my current place of employment.  The old me would be angry, livid even.  I would demand to know the reason for the decision and make plans to fight the decision, no matter the reason, tooth and nail. However, this time around I realized and accepted my part in creating this.  You see, while I love teaching, I am not happy at my current school.  Our leader is high strung, paranoid, disrespectful and very vengeful.  And his energy has created such a toxic environment that most of his staff is unhappy.  So I made up my mind that it wasn’t the right place for me. I said that I wanted a different, more nurturing, supportive environment.  And while I wanted my exit to be on my terms, the universe had no choice but to grant my request and by any means necessary. Because, ironically, I had begun to change my mind.  I thought I should wait  things out, stick it out for the kids.  But my request was already being processed.  God definitely had other plans.  Now, I have to sit back and laugh.  I got exactly what I created.  A small part of me wants to be afraid, wants to worry about how I will pay my bills, take care of my daughter, or what I’ll do for health insurance, but the larger part of me knows that the same way I created this reality, I can and will create something even better. In fact, it is being created as I type.

Now that I understand how powerful I truly am, I also understand that this experience is merely a segue to the life of my dreams. I am not mad at my misguided leader, I love him.  I am sending him light and love even as I type this.  I pray that he begins to see the value and worth in his awesome staff, for the sake of those beautiful students. In the meantime, I am letting love lead the way. I am allowing love to guide me through this. I finally realized the importance of not allowing any negative energy to seep in and delay God’s work.  I lovingly understand that this experience, no matter how uncomfortable it is right now, is very necessary on this journey. I had to learn that sometimes, just sometimes, letting go is the only way to truly demonstrate love.

So as I begin to redefine my life and my career, I open myself to a world of profound possibilities.  I am ready.  I am letting go and letting love lead the way.

Cynt Roberson
http://emittinglove.wordpress.com

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